Listener. Strategist. Partner.
I have been reflecting on my experience of becoming less afraid of, and ultimately feeling the power of, understanding and managing my own finances. The illustrative experience for me was figuring out who should manage my investments. My father passed away when I was pretty young—26. In my childhood, even though my parents were divorced, and my mother was quite successful in her career in public health, it was my dad who I saw as “the money person.” To the extent that he left some money when he died, I didn’t really understand the dimensions of it, and I relied on my older brother to determine who would manage it going forward. (Spoiler alert: All the gender issues in this narrative are entirely predictable!) Even though I didn’t like the man he worked with—I just didn’t relate to him, found his values hugely out of synch with my own, never enjoyed talking with him and felt intimidated to ask him any questions—I just went with it, figuring I could never do it better myself, and I would have no idea about how to find anyone else to do it. I wasn’t wealthy, it wasn’t a lot of money—why would anyone be inspired to help me with it?
Meeting Eve Ellis at a Yale reunion about ten years ago was a true revelation. I could go on and on about how wonderful Eve is, how smart, insightful, generous, strategic… but the short version is that when you work with someone aligned with your values; who answers your questions and affirms you for asking them; who is willing to admit that they too might need to do some more research and get back to you; and who cares that you are comfortable and understood—that is magic. That part of the experience of our collaboration is at least as great as the excellent financial advice and management Eve provides because these qualities have helped me to feel my own power and competence.
As I embark on deploying my own expertise, competence and strategic thinking to the endeavor of advising people on their philanthropic choices, this is a guiding light. This is the kind of advisor I want to be. Collaborative. Curious. Yes, knowledgeable—and also eager to learn. A listener. A strategist. A partner. Onward.
